The single most common reason people resist mediation is a picture in their head: a long table, the other side opposite, an entire day of forced eye contact. That is not what a mediation day looks like. Most of it is spent in separate rooms, with the mediator walking between them.
Morning: Opening, Then Separation
Parties usually arrive separately and are shown to their own rooms. There is often a short opening session with everyone present — the mediator explains the process and confirms the ground rules, and each side says briefly what the dispute is about — and where a face-to-face session would inflame rather than help, the day is designed without one entirely. Then the parties separate, and the private sessions begin: the mediator sits with each side in turn. Early on this is mostly listening, and it matters more than it sounds — a great many disputes contain someone who has never actually been heard, and being heard changes what they need. Then the testing starts: what is the evidence for that, how would that argument sound to a judge, what is your position if they prove the opposite, what does another two years of this cost you in money and attention? Nothing said in a private session leaves it without permission. That single discipline is what makes candour possible.
Afternoon: Movement, and the Last Hour
The middle of the day is shuttle work: proposals carried between rooms with authorisation, options tested privately before they are ever put, and dead ends explored where they cost nothing. Progress is rarely linear — most mediations have a flat spell in the early afternoon where nothing appears to move, and experienced parties know to sit through it rather than reach for their coats. What breaks it is usually a reframing rather than a number: the discovery that one side needs timing more than quantum, or an acknowledgment more than either. The last hour is the one that matters most. If agreement comes, it is written down and signed before anyone leaves: not just the headline but the machinery — timing, security, what happens on default, what is released, what stays confidential, what documents get executed, how any existing proceedings are disposed of. Every party is encouraged to take independent advice before signing, and once signed the agreement is enforceable as a contract. And if no agreement comes, the day is rarely wasted — nothing said can be used against you, and both sides now know things they did not know that morning.
The preparation that decides the day is not legal: it is answering, privately and honestly, what happens to you if there is no agreement — in money, time, attention and risk. Parties who have done that settle sensibly. Parties who have not spend the day arguing about the past.
The full structure, before and after, is on the mediation day page. Or ring: 01 5827148.
Richard O’Shea — Solicitor & Mediator
Solicitor at Mary Molloy Solicitors (established 1981), holder of the Law Society of Ireland Diploma in Mediation and a TEP of the Society of Trust and Estate Practitioners. Mediations are conducted at The Ormond Building on Ormond Quay, at the firm’s Kilkenny office, at neutral venues, at the parties’ own premises — or fully online. Fees are agreed in writing with all parties before any mediation begins. 01 5827148 · richardoshea@marymolloysolicitors.com · LinkedIn
General information, not legal advice. The content of this website is general information about mediation and Irish law. It is not legal advice and does not create a solicitor—client relationship. Every dispute turns on its own facts, and advice on yours requires a consultation.
The mediator is not your legal adviser. Where Mary Molloy Solicitors is appointed as mediator, the mediator is neutral: the mediator acts for no party, advises no party, and does not decide the dispute. All parties are encouraged to take independent legal advice, and in particular to take advice before signing any mediation settlement. The firm does not act as mediator in any dispute in which it acts, or has acted, for a party — conflicts are checked before any appointment is accepted. Where the firm is instructed as solicitor for one party in a mediation, it acts for that party alone and does not act as mediator in that dispute.
Fees. Fees for mediation are agreed in writing with all parties before the mediation begins, and fees for legal services are agreed in writing with the client at the outset. In contentious business, a solicitor may not calculate fees or other charges as a percentage or proportion of any award or settlement.
Tax. Nothing on this website is tax advice. Where a dispute or its resolution has tax consequences — succession, business transfers, property, compensation payments — those questions belong with your accountant or tax adviser and with Revenue’s own guidance, and are best addressed before any settlement is signed.